Pacific Rim review, Oldboy and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen will be extraordinarily horrible

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NSFW!!!

 

PHEW! Long-ass show today! Lots to get through so here you go!

 

New Simpsons might be turning it around

Coining phrases such as “One-handed Ad” and “Gayer than Baz Luhrmann’s browsing history”

The “Jobs” cardboard cut-out may make you not want to see the movie

Another reason why we do the Podcast is revealed (and it’s in relation to a highly implausible scenario)

New vids are up on our YouTube channel http://www.youtube.com/user/UltimateFacepalmUFP

Assholes….. Just….. assholes.

 

NEWS!

Sh*thead DJ who drove nurse to kill herself is now suing her employers

Getting SO drunk you want to pretend you’re Rebel Wilson

Here’s one for you for free, DON’T visit the Legoland Discovery Centre at the Ontario tourism centre without a child with you

 

MOVIE REVIEWS!

Pacific Rim

Despicable Me 2

 

UPF CREW QUESTIONS!

Kick Ass 2 review shall be forthcoming

RIPD Movie

Vin Diesel meeting with Marvel

Which was worse; Nic Cage in Ghost Rider or Shaq in Steel?

 

NERD NEWS! @ 1 hour 30 mins

Oldboy remake

Ales Kot off Suicide Squad

Andrew Hope to write an ongoing Fantomex series

Fox to pick up League of Extraordinary Gentlemen series (and it will more than likely horrible)

Curse of Chucky will be released to no audience

Live action Jungle Book adaptation

Sandman Overture, 6 issues being released bi-monthly

New TV spot for Agents of SHIELD

Smash Brothers will now be streaming

Rockstar Job listing hints at PC port for GTA5

Assassin’s Creed IV manga to be released in Jump X on August 10

Game releases for the week:

 

–          11 July 2013

         Star Wars Pinball

         Wii U

 

         Toki Tori 2

         PC

 

         Tiny Thief

         iPhone

 

–          12 July 2013

         Dynasty Warriors 8

         Xbox 360, PlayStation 3

 

–          14 July 2013

         Mega Man Unlimited

         PC

Hellboy 3, Holly Willoughby Vs Katie Hopkins and Luigi’s Mansion 2: More popular than Reef Doctors

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NSFW!!!

 

Back to our usual bloated near 2-hour format. Hope you enjoy the feast of bollocks talking!

 

Hipster news: Jim Kelly’s Passing

Bane is now a judge on So you think you can dance

C Bomb’s hate for MasterChef knows no bounds!

Official Statistic: Luigi’s Mansion 2 is more popular than Reef Doctors

Do people from Memphis hate Elvis?

 

UFP Crew questions

Movie review undertakings

Reminding people what a piece of sh*t Iron Man 3 was

New Perth comic store thoughts

When Pikachu isn’t Pikachu

Holly Willoughby loses her cool with Katie Hopkins in ANOTHER class row on ‘This Morning’

 

NEWS

News.com.au COMPLETELY sh*ts the bed on a story about a local surfer who got detained in the Congo

 

NERD NEWS @ 1hr and 1 min

DC’s Damian: Son of Batman

Rafael Albuquerque on art for Animal Man

Possible Disney Guardians of the Galaxy cartoon

Guillermo Del Toro pushing for another Hellboy movie or even an Abe Sapien or BRPD TV Series

Both Hideo Kojima and Kayne West endorsements for Pacific Rim

The Goon sequel in the works

The Last of Us devs answer dumb questions

G Money’s Comic Reviews!

–          Lazarus 4/5

–          Uncanny 4.5/5

–          Batman Superman Art: 5/5 Writing: 3.5/5

–          Superior Foes of Spiderman 4/5

–          What if? 2.5/5

Supanova Perth, Image Comics Expo and Captain Planet: THE MOVIE

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NSFW!!!

A short one (due to our Man Of Steel review) to keep you going until Sunday. Let’s have at it!

 

SUPANOVA wrap up

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We play our new game “G Money Guesses Groupon!!!!!”

UFP Crew Questions

–          Florida Vs George Zimmerman

–          Douchebags at Supanova

–          Jim Carrey about Kick Ass 2

 

NEWS!

“Comedian” Josh Thomas once again, pushes the boundary of the definition of “Comedian”

Fifi Box once again, pushes the boundary of “relevancy“

Texan teens Justin Carter hauled off to jail for bad taste FB comments

Will.i.am Vs Pharrell

 

NERD NEWS!

Neil Gaiman’s American Gods signed for 6 seasons on HBO

Vertigo releases

–          Hinterkind by Ian Edgington

–          The Discipline by Peter Milligan

–          Dead Boy Detectives By Toby Litt

–          Suiciders by Lee Bermejo (both writing and art)

Image Expo News!

–          MPH By Mark Millar and Duncan Fegredo

–          Velvet by Ed Brubaker and Steve Epting

–          ODY-C by Matt Fraction and Christian Ward

–          Southern Bastards by Jason Aaron and Jason Latour

–          Black Science by Rick Remender, Matteo Scalera and Dean White

–          Deadly Class by Rick Remender and Wesley Craig

–          Alone by J Michael Straczynski and Bill Sienkiewicz

–          Lost Souls by J Michael Straczynski and Colleen Doran

–          Dream Police by J Michael Straczynski and Mike Deodato

–          The Walking Dead will be released bi-weekly

Wolverine gum that no-one should buy!

State Of Decay re-submitted to the Australian Classification Board

Ubisoft hacked!

Latest GTA V needs a little room

Mad Max will be Australian after all!

If you’re an Xbox Fanboy, be ready to be labelled a “Chikan” or “Groper/pervert” in Japan

Terminator rebooting as a new trilogy

Captain Planet: THE MOVIE!!!

Geoff Johns to write for the new Arrow series

Agents of SHIELD promos

Dark Horse to re-launch the “Aliens” franchise

Private Eye #3

 

Saints Row IV, Armie Hammer as Ant Man and Octodad: Dadliest Catch

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NSFW!!!

Well this is quite the interesting scenario. And by interesting I mean, potentially horrible. G Money will of course be back for the next show, but no point in denying the inevitable, let’s get to it!

 

G Money’s whereabouts and talking about Super hero movies

SUPANOVA is a mere few days away!!!

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UFP crew questions

–          Iggy Azalea

–          Weapons used in fighting to the death

–          Ultimate Facepalm ‘Freaky Friday’ crossover

–          (Spoilers) No bottles were broken

–          Scared and needing a hug

–          80s movies should remain in the 80s

–          DC film production company leaves the WB

–          Are we still talking about Paula Deen?

–          Wrestling not-quite professionally

 

NEWS

 

Kevin Rudd leadership spill

Gerard Depardieu’s car crash (not a movie or anything, a literal car crash)

The Rock’s “Hercules” diet (sans ‘roids)

 

NERD NEWS

 

Armie Hammer to play Ant Man?

Why Saint’s Row IV and State of Decay were denied classification in Australia

Deadpool game reviews

Henry Cavill doesn’t see a Justice League movie coming anytime soon

Tom Clancy’s The Division

Killer is Dead

Dead Rising 3

Octodad: Dadliest Catch

South Park: The Stick of Truth

Bayonetta 2

Batman: Arkham Origins

Titanfall

James Gandolfini, The Last of Us and Paula Deen’s Calvin Candie themed party

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NSFW!!!!

Supanova isn’t far now. VERY exciting stuff! And another long one today to let’s get to it….

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Supanova updates

George R R Martin and Peter Dinklage coming to Australia in November

Bow down to Nintendo Xbox and PS fanboys

Masterchef struggles to maintain relevancy

Paula Deen’s Calvin Candie themed party

 

UFP Crew Questions

Mad Max game voice actors

Chopper IS a great film

Embarrassing pop culture guilty pleasures

We cannot sing

Cheese sandwiches

Pat Benatar is too metal for our crew

Under rated supernatural beings in movies

A Jason Todd phone survey for every TV show once a season

 

NEWS

James Gandolfini R.I.P. and bow down to the Sopranos

More sh*tty journalism

Australian newscasters find death and riots SOOOOOO funny!

Russell Brand freaks out “journalists”

Seal’s enormous backflip over his “leaving Australia” comments

Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie reunion

Sophie Monk’s “impressive” back story

 

NERD NEWS (@1hr 13mins)

The Last of Us – Review (very slight spoilers)

Age of Ultron final issue – Review (spoilers)

Potential casting for Myles Morales

Our town (Perth, Western Australia) heavily featured in Avengers #14

Robert Downey Jr officially signed on for Avengers 2 and 3

Mary Jane Watson written out of Amazing Spider Man sequel

Independence Day 2 is actually happening (???)

Ray Donovan starring Leiv Schreiber knocked G Money on his ass

Xbox/Microsoft’s MASSIVE backflip on 24hr connection and game sharing

New Gatchaman trailer

New Kisai Breathalyzer watch via tokyoflash.com

Wolfenstein The New Order gameplay vids from E3

True Blood, worst pains ever and Charles Saatchi: Do*chebag

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NSFW!!!!!

 

A short one on deck today peeps as G Money is ever popular and needed to skedaddle early. We still managed to pack quite a bit in though…

 

Show dedications – Stacey Von Wolf and The Boxed Whine Lost Episode

 

UFP Crew Questions

Worst pains ever accidentally experienced

Evil wishes upon each other

What’s going on in Brazil

Pounds and Quids – Is there a difference?

‘Breatharianism’ a.k.a. ‘Evolutionary failure’

 

Prostitute “uglier than described”

Selma Blair leaves Anger Management and generally no f*cks given

Two faced mutant kitten

Gerard Butler? More like Gerard BUTTler!

Dublin is NOT a fan of Rhianna (but who is?)

Charles Saatchi; Do*chebag and utter piece of sh*t

Wolf on Wall street trailer

Anchorman 2 trailer

Masterchef is OFFICIALLY out of ideas!

SUPANOVA!

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NERD NEWS! (@ 52 mins)

DON’T UPDATE YOUR PLAYSTATION! (YET!)

True Blood latest series is joined by Rutger Hauer

New Neverwhere series and possible movie (with Benedict Cumberbatch) by Neil Gaiman

Tom Taylor bumped up to write current and future Earth 2

James Robinson, Mark Waid, Gabriele Dell’otto dream team to work on new Spider Man original graphic novel

Bryan Singer to possibly write an X Men original graphic novel

Bruce Timm could possibly be ‘defecting’ to Marvel

Superman/Wonder Woman by Charles Soule and Tony Daniel

Age of Ultron #10 leaks

Xbox One is 3 times, 8 times AND 10 times more powerful than the Xbox360 (?)

World War Z first reviews

Only God Forgives first reviews

King’s (Candy Crush Saga) possible IPO

Shigeru Miyamoto’s “worst” game

Game releases for the week

Six Gun Gorilla, Reef Doctors officially sucks and Howard Sattler: Clod of the Highest Order

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Turning Japanese perhaps? I really think so. At least no-one can say we don’t cater to international markets!

Now on with the retardedness!

 

SUPANOVA!!!

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“What do you think of The Hoff being here?”

1 like = 1 respect…. What the f*ck are you talking about?

We shed a pink eye on the latest Japanese trend; Worming

We are three times more optimal than the average podcast

 

UFP Crew Questions and Talk Topics!

In-game walkthroughs

Jimi Hendrix Vs Stevie Ray Vaughn

Rupert Murdoch: P*ssy Hunter

Jaden Smith’s Eyebrows

Insulting a Podblocked host (upon their request!)

Basking Sharks….. We aren’t sure why the f*ck

The Digital Comic Revolution

Hi Alison Grad Jones! You made us talk about Man of Steel

We would rather see Taylor Swift than Fear Factory

Complimenting a Podblocked host (upon another podcast’s request)

Beating off to your daughter that you didn’t know was yours (stick with us on this one!)

 

NEWS!

It’s official! Reef Doctors is a bona-fide piece of shit! (Amongst many other shows we have touted as garbage)

Celebrities being slacktivist blowhards…. Plus the Robocop statues!

UFP of the Week runner up: Worst car thief ever!

UFP of the Week: Howard Sattler, f*cking clod of the highest order

 

NERD NEWS!!!

Comic reviews!

–          Superman Unchained

–          Batman #21

–          The American Vampire Anthology

–          The Wake

–          The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

–          Six Gun Gorilla

Sons of Anarchy comic via Boom studios

Astonishing Captain America

New Defenders of the Earth comic

Jonathan Hickman’s God is Dead via Avatar Press

Journey into Mystery ending???

Matt Fraction’s Sex Criminals (a MUST for pre-orders as they WILL sell out!)

Zero by Ales Kot

Reality Check from Image

300: Rise of an Empire trailer

Man of Tai Chi trailer

Alpha Papa (Alan Partridge Movie) trailer

Iain Banks RIP

Yes, we are getting a 65 year old Terminator

IGN people’s choice for E3 goes to: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

Final Fantasy XV looks incredible!

Xbox One/Microsoft response for “always online” and used games

PS4 will be region free and a removable/upgradable 500GB hard drive

Ouya sh*t fight

Optimus Prime Douche-truck, fat narcissists and Doctor Who: “Thunderingly Racist”

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NSFW!!!

Oh dear….. It’s quite a pleasant affair here….. HAHA! F*ck that! A HUGE show here. Let’s check it out!

 

Channel ten doesn’t fail to disappoint with shitting on their own points and sh*tting out terrible programs

UFP Crew Questions

–          Justin Beiber becoming the new Chris Brown

–          “What if” scenarios involving Chrissie Swan

–          Comic books that will never be adapted into movie

–          Fave 80s movies

–          Amanda Bynes falling further and further into the deep end

–          “What if” scenario involving Disney buying DC Comics

–          Inkers involved in comics

–          Australian Urban Legends

Haley Morris-Cafiero: Fat narcissist and lonely c*nt

Aaron Fotheringham rules

The Great Gatsby Review – VERY slight spoilers

 

NERD NEWS! at 1hr 15mins

www.supanova.com.au

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Christopher Lee’s celebrates his 91st Birthday by releasing a metal album

KILLER GAMMA RAYS!!!!

Trask Industries revealed by Bryan Singer to be included in Days of Future Past

DC’s “Villains Month” updates/follow up titles and inclusion of David Finch

Joss Whedon summons Saoirse Ronan as The Scarlett Witch

Neil Gaiman…. ACTING via Blood Kiss Kickstarter

Jim Jarmusch’s new vampire film, Only Lovers Left Alive

Sam Mendes back on board for the next Bond film

Francesco Francavilla’s “Batspoiltation”

Damon Lindelof apologises for nothing

Optimus Prime: Fast and the Furious Douche-Truck

Doctor Who is “Thunderingly Racist”

E3 2013 anticipated releases

Shinji Mikami’s The Evil Within

Teaser trailer for Sonic: Lost World

More problems with Xbox One

Blizzard’s under wraps release

Wolfenstien reboot fans were asking for

Leprechaun reboot NO ONE was asking for

 

 

Man of Steel, Xbox One and Kayne West’s and Stedman’s new hip hop collaboration

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NSFW!!!

 

We still haven’t caught Kony yet, but THAT doesn’t mean we can’t soothe you with our golden barbershop voices!

Onward with the bollocks!

 

G Money’s impression of Anthony Mason and other unknown people

UFP is COMING TO SUPANOVA (Perth) legitimately! www.supanova.com.au

Fave album/fave movie combo!

UFP Crew questions!

–          Going back in time: Ghost Mode

–          Best comic book movie adaptations

Miguel proves that black guys can’t necessarily jump either

Everyone in Australia has seen a paedophile dance on TV (that wasn’t Rolf Harris)

It all turns into an ouroboros of vomit and shit

Kevin Durant and Ricky Gervais ACTAULLY doing something about the Oklahoma tornado

Kayne West’s new album “Yeezus” and it’s grandiose release

Kayne West and Stedman’s “spiritual union”

Yahoo buys Tumblr and we all laugh at the sad blogger pricks

 

NERD NEWS @ 1hr and 4 mins

 

New Man of Steel trailer

Arkham Origins trailer

Almost Human starring Karl Urban

New The Lone Ranger trailer

The Rock puts his testosterone fuelled hat in the ring to play Luke Cage

Dazzler joins S.H.I.E.L.D. (and should date Booster Gold but that will never happen!)

Xbox One announced to mixed reviews and a losers bouquet of crappy release titles!

C Bomb vents his spleen about “PC Gamers”

Kryptik Musings Episode 3 – Ben Templesmith

Kryptographik is a trans-continental podcast featuring Brian (in the U.S.) and Damian (in Australia), providing news, reviews, and commentary regarding horror, dark fantasy and science-fiction.

Due to scheduling issues, we’ve decided to release solo episodes called Kryptik Musings to bridge the gap until we release our next podcast.

In our third Kryptik Musings podcast, Damian speaks with Ben Templesmith, artist on 30 Days of Night and Fell, and wrtier/artist of Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse and the upcoming Welcome To Hoxford, published by IDW.

Listen to our streaming audio online at:
http://kryptographik.ning.com/

Direct Download (iPod not required)

Visit our homepage for show notes, links and iTunes/Zune/Podcatcher feeds at:
http://www.lordshaper.com/kryptographik/

Kryptographik Forum

Podcatcher feed

Also remember to Digg our podcast here: Digg Kryptographik
And Vote for us on Podcast Alley: Vote for Us